Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Bun In the Oven Week-12

I'm a few days late posting my update. We went to our second ultrasound at 13 weeks, and needed time to just absorb it all, and decide how much I wanted to share. I am choosing to share it all.

Before your heart automatically starts sinking, everything is okay!

As I mentioned in my last post we had gone for our 12 week ultrasound but they couldn't get the information they needed to do the proper calculations for my first trimester screening for Trisomy 21, 18, and 13. We were rescheduled for this past Monday.

Our appointment was for 3:30, and we finally got in around 3:50. The first two ultrasounds I had really sweet, personable techs. This time not so much. The girl barely said two words to us, and didn't talk about what she was doing or what we were looking at on our baby, until the very last shot. She quickly said here is the baby's head, arms, legs(which were crossed), and the heart rate is 158 bmp. We were in there maybe 10-15min. She was super fast, and they did not take nearly as many pictures as the previous time. It felt super rushed and impersonal.

She walked us to another room and said when the nurse had the results, she would be in to go over it with us. When she finally came in she quickly started going over the papers. 

She started off by showing us a chart that had a background risk for the average person with my stats, then the recalculated one with my stats, my blood work and the babies information. 


She began with Trisomy 18 &13 by saying that my adjusted risk was way less than the average, meaning that my chances of the baby having either of these was super unlikely. Phew! Great news!

Then she says, when it comes to the Trisomy 21, again you are below the estimated average background risk, and your calculated average is 1:191. She says that in percentages that means that there is a 99.5% chance that the baby will not have Down Syndrome and will be perfectly fine, but there IS a 0.5% chance that our baby could be born with DS. Even though the percentage is that low, we tested as a positive screen for Trisomy 21. The reason is that we are still at a higher percentage then the screening cut-off which is 1:300 at this gestational age.

She then went over our baby's stats, saying that the neck fluid, baby's measurements, heart rate etc were all normal. She casually mentioned that they were unable to examine the baby's nasal bone. At that moment I didn't realize what that meant. She didn't say it in a manner that told me this could be a potential marker for Trisomy 21.

She went on to tell me the options for further testing that were available to me, and then sent us on our way. We both felt like the appointment was rushed (it's supposed to be 1.5hr appointment and we were in and out within an hour, even with wait times). We even saw the nurse leaving the center in a rush as we were leaving in our car!

Going by the percentages we should have been elated. Once back in our car however, and having a few minutes to look over our paperwork ourselves and refer to Dr. Google, we started to feel like we were given bad news. 

We realized the significance of them not being able to examine the baby's nasal bone. We had been given a soft marker. The reason we were estimated higher, was in part because of this marker. That hit us hard. We always said we would not end our pregnancy over anything like Trisomy 21 but suddenly we were faced with having to walk our talk. I realized that the reason they wanted to re-do my ultrasound was because they couldn't find it at 12 wks either. They wanted to wait another week, which is recommended by medical sources. This meant that it was undetected at 12 & 13 weeks.

I will say that I felt panicked, scared, and cried the rest of the night. The logical part of my brain said STOP! I knew she said that there was a 99.5% chance the baby was perfectly fine, but I just couldn't stop thinking, but we have a marker!! I was trying to wrap my head around what that could mean for us, and the future for my baby. I read many stories online of people given the exact same news, some of them at every ultrasound their entire pregnancy and everything was fine.

 After a lot of tears, and talking I can honestly say that for today, right now we are in a better place. I am nervous and anxious for my 18 week ultrasound in June. I am going to try super hard to remind myself this is in no way a diagnosis. This is my first baby and pregnancy and I want to embrace it and enjoy it. It could very well be my only one. It's not out of our heads by any means,but we have made the decision not to do any further testing at this time.

We love this baby and this baby is wanted. With or without Trisomy 21. Getting further testing is costly, invasive and it won't change the out come of this pregnancy. The baby had no other markers at this time, so we are hoping we will see a nasal bone at our next U/S. If we do, we know the chances are very unlikely. If we don't and there are no other markers, again it's still unlikely. If they can't see it and there are other markers then we will make decisions at that time to test further so we can do our part to be prepared & as knowledgeable as we can be.

Our sweet little chickpea was bouncing around (kinda looked like it had the hiccups! Probably helped I had a small handful of sugar on my way to the 
clinic-LOL.) Then it calmed down, crossed it's little legs, and co-operated for photo's<3

For the next scan I will be in big time mama-bear mode. No more end of day ultrasounds. It really shouldn't matter- but it does. We felt incredibly rushed. I will not be leaving before viewing all my photo's. The last pictures are so blurry and horrible. This is the best one of the dozen she took. Some you can't make out at all. I will be bringing a sheet of questions with me, and will not be leaving until they are all answered to my liking. If there are any markers I want them to show me in detail with their picture markers, so I can fully understand what it is they are looking for/at. I understand that they do this all day, everyday, but this is MY baby. My first and only baby. We deserve to be treated like ours matters.

Week 12 of my pregnancy has treated me well. My food aversions have passed (I even ate a bowl of raw baby tomatoes yesterday!), I haven't had any cravings, I haven't had heartburn, I'm not too tired, and I am feeling well.

I will probably not report weekly about my pregnancy at this point, unless something exciting happens, but will be back for the 18 week ultrasound which is obviously weighing heavy, but it's also exciting as we will be preparing to find out if chickpea is a little boy or girl!!



Thanks for reading our journey into parenthood <3

2 comments:

  1. This was such an interesting post to read for me. I wish you all the best with your pregnancy and a healthy safe delivery. Can't wait for motherhood myself.

    ReplyDelete

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