Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Fake it until you make it!

So, I'm going to be very real. I am struggling. I have been struggling for months. I was on a really great roll and something derailed me and I am grasping to regain control. I know how to shop, cook and eat healthy. I have lots of tools. I eat healthy 80%. The other 20% is the problem. I am making bad choices, and sabotaging all the good stuff I do.

I am sharing this to be honest about my whole journey. I am usually a very glass half full kind of gal, but it's been a tough & emotional year. Life isn't always peachy, but I think many people portray that it is. 


That being said, I am a fighter and I am doing what I can to lift myself back up--even if that means fake it until I make it! One day at a time. Today has been a really good day.


Today I faced reality & I returned to my Weight Watchers meetings! 

It was hard. I was up 10.5lbs and felt embarrassed. I know I shouldn't but I just did. Luckily there are some ahh-mazing ladies there that have been super supportive and I really like my leader(finally!!!). A few of them took a hiatus also and just started back last week, so I was in good company. 

Today's meeting couldn't have come at a better time either. It was about being happy. Making yourself happy. Not focusing on being just a number but finding happiness beyond that. Sometimes the universe just puts you were you need to be at the right moment. 


The board at my meeting said something along the lines of the scale being just a number that is an equation of gravity, and that it is not a reflection of the person you are, your worth, an indication of how much your friends and family love you...exactly. Weight loss is part of my life--not my whole life. We need to find happiness with where we are right now & take time for yourself.


My husband is very supportive in that he will happily eat anything I cook(even super healthy), but he also isn't bothered by us eating badly and being over weight, which is frustrating. When I am in a "I don't care, I am going to eat whatever I want" mood, he is happy to join. Rejoining will give me the accountability I require, and the support & structure I need.


I am researching some courses to take, to do some upgrading, and possibly career changing as well. I also joined a Crappy to Happy 7 Day Challenge. We journal and have daily exercises to work on. I hope that by being accountable with my WW, my exercise, pursuing some things I am interested in, and taking time for me, I can turn my funk in side out. 


I just want to always keep it real here. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's not. I'm going through the it's not stage right now, but I feel better just taking some steps to get where I want to be.


My week has been a busy one...


I managed to get the to-do projects on my list complete! My room on the main level, the basement and the office are finished! My house also got a thorough, much needed cleaning. I love a clean house :)


Lilly had her dental surgery last Wednesday. They ended up removing 5 teeth instead of 3, but she did well. We had her re-check this afternoon and unfortunately a socket suture has opened and there is a bit of infection. They do not want to go back in unless absolutely necessary so we have a couple more days of pain meds and 10 days of antibiotics, and she will be checked again next Friday. 

My MIL surprised me a couple days ago with new bake ware! I have been wanting a full oven sized cookie sheet and muffin tin to make things more efficient, especially when doing large batches for volunteer baking. 
So sweet that she remembered me mentioning it and gifted me with them <3

After my appointments today I hit up the Farmer's market. I love to do that!
Kohut corn, purple potatoes, cauliflower, peppers, cabbage, tomatoes, zucchini and fresh beans! YUM!!

Well I'm off to cook beans that I have been soaking(I found a killer deal at Safeway on dried beans a couple days ago!) and get some meal prep done, so I am ready for work tomorrow.


Happy first day of Fall!!

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